Monday, 12 May 2014

Light Within Darkness | Short Story

Art by dobytek (Light added)
When there is no hope left in a world of darkness and pain, it takes only a small amount of light to change one's fate.
A poetic fictional short story written and created by me - STEPHEX.
She didn’t have a face. She didn’t have a name. She was invisible—voiceless. People would brush past her as if she were a ghost. She was alone. No one could see her. No one could feel her. No one could hear her.
      Day by day, her skin turned to stone. Day by day, her eyes turned to dust. Day by day, her body turned to ashes. She felt dead. She wanted to scream, but she couldn’t. She had no voice.
      Every night she gazed upon the stars. She noticed how they twinkled bright and wished she could share a similar fate. She was the dark, grey cloud passing through those who shone the brightest. She was greya shadow
      As time went on, her bones grew weak. Her heart shrivelled up inside her chest. She was nothing. She was no one. She was mute—a vanishing soul.
    Blood trickled down her grey cheeks as she fell to her knees. The pain, the emptiness within her became too much to bare. She felt her soul tearing in half. She cried. She wept. But nobody listened. No one noticed her presence.

    She felt her body slowly rot as she knelt on the cold ground. She heard voices, she heard happiness, but they didn’t belong to her. She was the darkness within the light. She was helpless, drowning in misery.

    With a cold breath, she looked up into the light. She was a moth to the flame. All she wanted was happiness. All she wanted was to be heard, to be loved, to be seen—to be saved. But people failed her. She had no hope left until an angelic figure lowered by her side. His gentle gaze met hers. It was hope. He offered her his soft touch. She took it. As his bright gaze filled hers, her bones grow stronger, her skin radiated with colour, her eyes filled with life, her heart blossomed and her soul was whole again.

    His natural rose coloured lips parted as he spoke to her. In an instant, she felt her voice return inside her dry throat. She was heard. Together, they stood, hand in hand. Every speck of grey surrounding her slowly vanished. She was whole again. She was…happy. A small smile crossed her dry pink lips as she looked up at him. He returns a soft smile and touches her cheeks with his soft, slim fingers—wiping away her sorrow. 

    For the first time in her life, she felt at peace. She felt happy. She felt…alive. And then he was gone.


  1. This is really good. I can relate to your subject matter very easily as our content is quite similar (see my post Your Sunlight and My Shadow Heart). You have illustrated the emotion really well.
    Just one comment though. In the first paragraphs, the description is great (very emotive, I love it), but something about it feels too slow and repetitive. I don't know if its the repetition of her wanting to be noticed, or of the comments "She was nothing. She was no one. She was forgotten. She was a shadow." It just seems to slow the story down without adding much. Maybe that's what you were going for. I don't know. These are just my thoughts as a reader.

    1. Thanks so much for your response! Yeah, it is a bit repetitive, I'll admit. I wasn't sure which parts to take out and which ones to leave in. I'll give it an edit and make it flow better, but keep it powerful/emotional. I apprieciate your feedback! I'll check out your blog also.

  2. My favourite part was "Day by day, her skin turned to stone". You have a beautiful voice and it's a powerful piece, and I enjoyed the imagery of the protagonist weeping blood (I hope that doesn't make me sound creepy!)

    1. Thank you so much, I'm glad you enjoyed it! Haha, no it doesn't make you sound creepy, I like dark imagery as well. :)

  3. Not looking as a writer, I actually found the beginning very powerful and emotive. I guess it touched a part of me that recognised those emotions. My only hope is that, now that he has left her, she is still happy and whole.

    1. Thank you for your feedback, I really appreciate it! Yeah, I guess people feel this way one time or another in life, I know I have, you're not alone. :) That's the beauty of the ending, it's up to your interpretation and it's up to you to decide what happens next.

  4. This is beautiful. So artistically written :)